Shoe Narrative
By Cecillia and Jessie
On a sunny afternoon I was abandoned by the fish and chip shop. I was wondering who will notice me as people will going passed me I realized that nobody wanted me. I could feel rocky bumps just coming towards me like I was invisible. I felt the wind bursting like a fireball. I felt that I was left behind. When I see other shoes like me I just feel so jealous. I feel like I’m not the only one who has felt like this before. Here I was by the fish and chip shop. I could hear sizzling coming towards me as if I was hungry and wanted to be like humans that can walk.
As the people come out of the shop I feel like that I have no idea what to do and I just feel like that nobody in the world would want me because I have holes everywhere. I just wish someone, anyone could just pick me up and take me home and take me somewhere safe. If someone really does take me home I’ll be the happiest shoe of all time. As the sun set went down I realized that someone came looking for me but he or she came closer I realized it was a dog who wanted to chew me up and to be his or hers toy. As the dog took me home the dog showed me his collection of other shoes some of them were like me.
Today for writing we had to write a short story for 15 mins. We had to use the 5 senses and personification to help us point a picture with words. My partner and I Cecillia had to write a sentence each until the 15 mins were done we had to proof read our work.
2 comments:
Your words paint a really clear picture. Well done! I really like the way you describe your feelings of being left behind. Don't forget to think carefully about the power of simple sentences when creating mood.
Thank you Mrs Anderson for the feedback Cecillia and I really appreciate your hard working effort to comment on our peace of writing. We will fix the mistakes and get back to you
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